Weddings are a 40 billion dollar per year industry. What? It seems like marriage is now about the party rather than the commitment you’re making to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. No wonder the divorce rates are higher than ever.
I went to a bridal shop yesterday and was immediately uncomfortable and wanted to leave… and not just because I hate shopping. I had corresponded with the stylist about what I was looking for, and when I got there – she tried to give me options opposite of what we talked about. She proceeded to tell me that to feel beautiful on my wedding day, I needed to spend $4k on a wedding dress because of the “construction” and boning of the dress, and that these pictures were going to be printed and displayed in my home and I wanted to look back and think how beautiful I looked. I felt like I was being judged from the moment I walked in. I gave her the budget that I wanted to stay in and instead of actually listening to what I really wanted, she kept “telling” me what she thought I should spend by bringing out dresses that were 5x what I told her I was willing to spend. Remember that scene in “Pretty Woman” when Julia Roberts walks in to the clothing store, and she’s dressed as a hooker? The women at the shop gave her dirty looks and told her that she couldn’t afford anything in their shop…. she later came back after she spent a lot of money else where and told them what a big mistake it was to have let her go….. I love that scene.
Maybe it’s just me…. however I’ve been married before and have done the hoopla, had the big diamond ring and the big wedding with the big dress….and that’s all it was. It wasn’t about the love I felt for my husband to be, or the commitment we were making to each other which we both knew had an out if we wanted it, and we did. A marriage ceremony to me is about marrying my soul mate, not about the dress or how much money I spend on it. It’s not about the bells and whistles, it’s about the truth and real love.
A lot of people fill voids with stuff — I believe that most of the population that spends ridiculous amounts of money on their wedding MAY possibly be hiding behind the glitz. Maybe not EVERYONE – but a lot of them. I was extremely unhappy in my first marriage from the beginning and I spent my money like it was my job. If anything was on sale, I’d buy it… if it wasn’t on sale, I’d still buy it. I thought that I could hide my sadness with material things – but what I really got was more and more in debt and less and less present in my life. All of that started with the thousands of dollars spent on a wedding.
According to www.costofwedding.com – “On average, US couples spend $25,656 for their wedding. However, the majority of couples spend between $19,242 and $32,070. This does not include cost for a honeymoon.” — what? And we wonder why we’re in debt, a slave to our job and rarely take time off? It’s a vicious cycle and one that I do not choose to be a part of.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good party as much as the next guy – However, at this point in my life, I would just prefer to spend my money on something tangible and practical… not on “boning” and “construction of a dress”….
