When I first left the hospital I wanted to cry because I didn’t know what to do or how to do it. I thought “They can’t be serious letting me leave with this tiny baby….right?”. I felt like I had to be strong instantly because “everyone has the mother instinct” and I felt like i would be instantly judged if I said that I didn’t or that I was overwhelmed.
I was adamant about taking the fourth trimester off from anything that didn’t have to go with my baby and our bond, which I will forever be thankful for, however at some point I then felt like an outcast in the world. I had little human interaction, the thought of going anywhere alone was crippling and overwhelming considering Olivia despised the car seat and would scream the entire time she was in it. She’s much better now!
Don’t get me wrong, the fourth trimester was an amazing time for us and I would do it exactly the same in a heartbeat.
But I pulled myself together, as best I could with my hormones all over the place (insert placenta pills here) and I powered through my first few weeks. Along side my husband, whom I’m immensely thankful for because without him I would have lost my mind, we were winging parenthood together and it was and still is the most amazing adventure. Long and sleepless nights brought us closer, napping with Olivia, driving around just to get out of the house, dropping me off at target or the grocery store so that I was able to get 10 minutes to feel like a human in the world, all while staying in the car with the baby so I could come back and nurse her before we drove right back home. He was and continues to be my rock and together we have solidified an amazing foundation for our daughter and future children to grow and learn from.
Fast forward to where we are now and I am so incredibly in love with my daughter and while I still have no idea what I’m doing, I’m honored that she chose me to figure it out hand in hand with her. I fall deeper in love with her everyday, and with every day is a new lesson to learn.
- As she learned to nurse, I learned everything I could about how to nurse her…. Including working diligently at weaning her off of those nipple shields!
- As she discovered her voice, I learned how determined my little tiny baby girl can be.
- As she learned to crawl I learned that she is a girl on a mission and nothing can get in her way.
- When she started eating solid foods, I stayed up at night on Pinterest researching “Baby Led Weaning” and pinning different recipes to a new board.
- As she’s learning to walk, I’m learning that I need to baby proof the house more than I thought.
- When she got her first fever, instead of sleeping, I learned everything I could on the internet about babies with fevers and what I could do to make her feel better.
- As we go through life together, I realize that although things might not go “as planned”…. Every minute of every hour of every day is prescious and I cherish it every bit of it.
She is absolutely the dream I never knew I had.
Happy first birthday my gorgeous girl. I’m so thankful to be your mommy, and I’m so honored that you chose me.
“One” Birthday Dress || Gold Baby Sandals
You are a great mommy and there is no right or qrong. Every child is different and every experience even though they are alike they are not the same. Just do what is best for you guys and that will work!
Thank you!