LETTING GO OF RESISTANCE : A BIRTH STORY

Captain’s Log….Thursday January 12th 11:48pm …. Contractions started. I had felt contractions a bit stronger and different all day on the 12th, but it wasn’t until night time that I knew they were different. This was it! I was in the early stages of labor with my second baby! The rush of emotions between nervousness for labor and being excited to finally meet this little baby were immense. I contacted my midwife around 2am and she and my doula were at our house by 4am. Let the VBAC home birth begin!

For those of you that don’t know, I broke my ankle on December 28th the day that I turned 36 weeks pregnant. The last 2 weeks before I went into labor I was on a forced bed rest and could only get around with a walker. Needless to say, laboring in certain positions was difficult and getting from one place to another in my house was challenging.

With my first child, I labored for 41 hours before ending in an emergency c section due to her heart rate dropping immensely and not knowing if the next time it happened if they could still help her out. They say that second deliveries tend to go by faster so that’s what I was expecting.

I was dilated to 6cm and my midwife broke my water at 11:29am and that’s when things got REAL. Contractions were fast and furious and at 3pm I was certain that I was ready to push….. only to have my midwife check to see that I was still only 6cm dilated. By this point, I knew in my heart of hearts that a VBAC home birth wasn’t going to be possible. We had a back up doctor at a hospital just in case, so my husband and I made the call and we went in. The drive was over an hour long because we left at 3:30pm on a Friday afternoon heading to downtown Atlanta.

I was immediately admitted and checked by my doctor. At this point he said that I was still at 6cm and that my baby’s head wasn’t aligned with my cervix, which is why it had been so difficult, and he suggested a c section. This was something we were prepared to hear, so Jonah and I had let go of resistance to that idea before we left the house and were at peace with it. I was quickly prepped for surgery and I knew that I was meeting our baby soon.

This c section was completely different than my previous. The lights were dimmed, the doctor was AMAZING, the mood was calm and serene. Our birth photographer was allowed in and the curtain was dropped so that I was able to see our child being born. It was an incredible experience and I felt as though I was actually giving birth, not just having surgery or “delivering”. It was a spiritual and magical connection between myself, my husband, our baby and even the doctor. I felt instantly bonded with my baby, which isn’t something people can usually say with a c section.

I ended up staying in the hospital for only 2 days, as opposed to 4, because I was alone with a broken leg and a newborn baby. My husband was at home, holding down the fort, with our first born and the staff at the hospital were less than helpful, to say the least.

Recovery at home has been great and I would definitely feel at least 99% better if it wasn’t for the cast and broken ankle. I’m absolutely looking forward to healing sooner rather than later.

All in all, I tried to have a VBAC at home, despite the fear and negativity that others tried to impose on me, and the universe had different but better plans.

I would have never known the difference had I not had the first c section experience, and I’m so thankful that I did. Life has absolutely taught me that things don’t always turn out the way you plan it, but if you can let go of resistance, it can turn out even better than you ever imagined.

My husband has been my rock, as usual, and has truly taken care of our family in a way I only dreamed about or saw in movies. We are now a little family of 4 and I’m so grateful for my Midwife, my Doula and my Doctor for helping me birth our second baby girl “Earth Side”.