PPA : My journey with Postpartum Anxiety

I’ve had PPD (postpartum depression) after each pregnancy, and some times were worse than others and with each time my anxiety kept getting worse. After our second pregnancy, the PPD hit me hard and I wanted to get on a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI aka antidepressant). I didn’t feel like I could get ahold of myself without help and I’m so glad that it was available for me. I took it for about 3 months and then I weaned off because it made me feel numb and I gained weight, which are 2 things that I am not a fan of.

**I am not a medical professional, not an expert on SSRI’s so PLEASE talk with your doctor before deciding on getting on any kind of medication.**

Our third baby is now almost 9 months old and I’m realizing that my Postpartum Anxiety (PPA) is still going strong. As I do my research I’m learning a few things to help me get through each day and I wanted to share that with you, just in case you need to hear it too.

• Know your triggers. Here are some of mine:
  • Large crowds. I’ve never been a music festival kind of person but now the thought of being in a huge crowd of people, really close together makes my head hurt a little.
  • Too many loud noises at once. Like, consistent “banging” noises. I realized this recently when we were having some work done in our house and I almost couldn’t handle the day.
  • Clutter. I. Can’t. Stand. Clutter. Sometimes, if I’m already overwhelmed and something is cluttered in the house I feel a bit manic about it.
  • Feeling rushed or being late. I would rather leave an hour early for something than have to rush out the door to make it on time.
  • Any situation that could potentially hurt my children or me.
• Stay Organized.
  • This can mean prepping the day before I have any kind of appointment or somewhere to be. Getting outfits, snacks, activity bags, or diaper bag ready so that essentially all we need to do is get in the car and go.
  • Keeping the house as minimal and organized as possible (with 3 kids under the age of 5). I’m in the process of minimalizing toys, which I think might be easier to do the younger they are.
• Meditation.
  • This might feel impossible at times, but literally, 5 minutes to change perspective can really make a difference. I’ve been doing 5-minute meditations on the Peloton app and it’s something that I look forward to every day.
  • If you have more than 5 minutes there are plenty of other guided meditations on YouTube that you can listen to and spend more time connecting with yourself.
• Consume positivity.
  • Unfollow people that don’t make you feel good. Don’t scroll Instagram accounts that make you compare yourself or make you feel less than. I do a clean up of my follows every 2 weeks or so to check in and make sure that the people I’m following are adding value.
  • “Consume” also refers to the food you ingest. Personally, I’m a vegan and eat mostly fruits, vegetables, and legumes however I strongly believe that if you eat cheeseburgers and drink soda every day that you will start to feel run down and your anxiety rises higher. So, I try to stay hydrated and eat as “clean” as I possibly can.
• Get rid of toxins.
  • I started reading a book called Woman Code before we started trying for baby number 3, and it inspired me to clear out any toxins around me and I did a good cleaning of products that I was using on my body. Endocrine disruptors are a real thing and make a huge difference when you start to identify them and eliminate them.
  • Sugar. I love sugar just as much as the next guy, but I know that when I consume too much sugar it brings my mood down and makes my anxiety worse. For the most part, I limit any sugar intake to natural sugars and I stay away from white sugar as much as I can. We don’t keep sweets or junk food in the house, which also helps me to stay on track. We also limit sugar intake for our kids and only serve them vegetables, fruits, and legumes and that helps to keep them even-keeled.
  • H2O and lots of it. No sodas or fruit juices but I will have a kombucha every now and then.
  • Vitamins and Probiotics. What most people don’t understand is that digestive issues, food sensitivity, out of control sugar cravings, problems maintaining a healthy weight, brain fog, mood swings, fatigue, headaches, skin problems, yeast infections, and UTIs all have one thing in common and that is your gut. It’s important to keep your gut health in check with pre and probiotics to balance everything out.
  • Exercise. I work out 5 days a week because that is what works for me. As long as you’re moving your body and not staying stagnant I think it helps so much.
• Essential Oils.
  • I’m a huge fan of using essential oils in my daily life for anything from anxiety, to calming a toddler tantrum, to immune support and anything else in between. I’ve had mastitis several times in the past 5 years and I’ve always healed it with oils. I have a post on it HERE.

I want to be clear about something. Taking medication for anxiety or depression does NOT make you weak. Sometimes, it can help calm and quiet you down, long enough for you to regain your composure, and other times it’s a necessity to balance you all the time. Overcoming any kind of anxiety or depression takes strength, self-assessment, and self-awareness. However, how you heal is your journey and yours alone. You do not need anyone else’s approval for your own life choices.

I’m writing this in hopes of inspiring those that might be going through something similar. I hope this serves you.