From a young age, girls are often taught to be low maintenance, to put others first, and to avoid being labeled as “high maintenance” at all costs. But in the journey of self-discovery and empowerment, it’s time to challenge this perception. Being high maintenance as a woman isn’t a toxic trait; in fact, it can be a sign of self-respect, self-worth, and personal boundaries. In my opinion, being high maintenance isn’t the negative trait society often portrays it to be and I believe it’s crucial to embrace it as a form of self-care and empowerment.
Defining “High Maintenance”
On a personal note, my ex-husband said he divorced me because I was too high-maintenance. I wore too much makeup, spent too much time on my hair, and he never understood why I had to wear heels with jeans. I never apologized for who I was but at the young age of 25, I thought maybe it was me and maybe I was “too much”. After we divorced I came into my own and became even more unapologetic for who I am and how I dress, and I’m passionate about sharing this topic with others.
To understand why being high maintenance isn’t a toxic trait, let’s first clarify what it means. Being high maintenance doesn’t imply being demanding, selfish, or unreasonable. Instead, it signifies having high standards for oneself, valuing one’s time and well-being, and refusing to settle for less than what you deserve. It’s about setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.
The Gendered Expectation
The idea that women should be low maintenance is deeply rooted in gender stereotypes. From a young age, girls are often encouraged to be accommodating, nurturing, and self-sacrificing. These expectations can lead to women feeling guilty or selfish for simply prioritizing their own needs.
Self-Respect and Self-Worth
Being high maintenance can be a reflection of self-respect and self-worth. It means recognizing your value and refusing to accept less than you deserve in relationships, work, and life. This mindset empowers women to demand respect and fairness, fostering healthy, balanced relationships and raising my daughters to feel empowered to do the same.
Setting Boundaries
One of the essential aspects of being high maintenance is setting clear boundaries. This helps in maintaining a healthy work-life balance, ensuring that your physical and emotional needs are met. By doing so, women can reduce the risk of burnout and maintain their well-being.
Confidence and Empowerment
Embracing high-maintenance tendencies can boost confidence and empowerment. When you know your worth and dare to express your needs, it becomes easier to achieve your goals and stand up for what you believe in.
High maintenance doesn’t mean arrogance; it signifies confidence in your abilities and what you bring to the table.
Healthy Relationships
In personal relationships, being high maintenance can lead to healthier, more fulfilling connections. When you set clear expectations and prioritize your needs, you attract individuals who respect and support your boundaries. This leads to a more balanced and rewarding partnership.
The Importance of Self-Care
Being high maintenance goes hand in hand with self-care. It encourages women to invest in their physical and mental well-being, which is essential for overall happiness and success. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s a fundamental aspect of a fulfilling life.
Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash 
Photo by Harper Sunday on Unsplash
Overcoming the Negative Stigma
While society may sometimes attach a negative stigma to high maintenance, it’s crucial to remember that self-care and self-respect should always come first. By reframing the concept, women can empower themselves and break free from harmful stereotypes.
Being high maintenance as a woman is not a toxic trait; it’s an expression of self-respect, self-worth, and personal boundaries. Embracing this mindset is an important step towards empowerment, confidence, and building healthy, fulfilling relationships. So, let go of the stereotypes, prioritize self-care, and stand up for what you deserve because being high maintenance is a positive choice on your journey to self-discovery and self-empowerment.
